Is the stock market crashing? Is the worldwide economy heading into the deepest, darkest depression ever? Truth be told, my own economy is not that all that great. My savings aren’t at the level they should be. My house needs a new roof, and my bathroom is wretched.
So why do I feel like the richest woman in the world?
The feeling comes over me around 3 p.m. as I sit studying some notes on the back patio.
I face the afternoon sun, which is still not as high as it will be by summer solstice, but so much higher than in the past few months.
My awesome little Home Depot solar fountain is really going at it, shooting its stream so high that it splashes a bit onto the concrete. Small, quick birds had a raucous group bath in the fountain earlier. And so I’ve gotten used to refilling it each day.
Behind me, a feeder hangs from a falling-apart arbor in the yard, and blue jays and doves and sparrows eat the seed I left for them.
I look down at my notes and then up again at the Buddha statue near the fountain. It’s only 3 feet high but made of a concrete mix that puts it at about 200 pounds. Behind that, a rock rose I bought 15 years ago at the Santa Barbara Botanic Garden is showing off a profusion of tiny pink flowers. I’ve had that bush longer than I’ve known my husband.
Back to the notes. I really do have to get an article done. And then the wind shoots through the tops of nearby pine trees and I have to watch that spectacle. Is there a better sound than wind through the tops of trees?
In the foreground I behold once again the back wall of my house, newly painted brick red, and no longer the peeling gray that chilled my days for too long. And against that, the old wooden work table I refinished and embellished.
How can I possibly look down at my notes with this pulsating artwork before me?
There’s been talk of a stock market collapse, of a depression far worse than the one my dad was born into. There was fear in the air today, and dread, and uncertainty about where this is all headed.
If we are going down, if the dollar tanks, if the world’s economies go down with us, I know exactly how I’ll make it through.
It will be here, in this house, in this warmth, in this pocket of grace where today I felt like the wealthiest woman who ever lived.
It will be my home that sustains me, no matter what.